In My Mom Era

Do you live BOLD? Or do you hesitate and shrink back?

I recently received Barrie Zucal’s new book, BOLD: How Women Play BIG by Leading Instead of Pleasing, courtesy of Helen Cook with Ascot Media Group. And I have to say, WOW.

I worked my way through this book slowly and thoughtfully, taking time with each chapter and its exercises. I spend a lot of time in the passenger seat running kids to events in and around town, so I utilized ChatGPT as a journal to go along with the journal. And boy, did we have some conversations! LOL!

Barrie’s prompts really make you think about what you’ve lived through, what you grew up learning, and what you want from life. I found myself reliving memories, good and bad, from all along the spectrum of my life. There may have been some tears shed. ♥️

Apparently, I’m Mostly Bold!

According to Barrie’s tiered assessment, or “test,” if you will, I’m living a “mostly bold” life. I’ll take it! LOL!

There are areas where I struggle and other areas where I am as strong-willed as they come. I loved answering the exercises and then excitedly telling Ty what I’d remembered or relearned about myself.

But some reflections weren’t quite so fun. I tend to hold my tongue when it comes to certain people in my life. I’m WELL aware of that. 🤷‍♀️ After a lot of thinking, I understand that keeping quiet in those moments is easier in the long run. I know the fight that would happen if I shared my thoughts. To me, it’s not worth it, especially when my kids are around.

So I stay silent. And I hate feeling like I can’t change that aspect of myself. But there are certain things that, at least currently, just are the way they are. I’ve gotten better about distance and limited interactions, and that’s the best I can do for now. The book helped me understand those choices, even if it couldn’t hand me an easy solution.

I MISS BAKING! LOL!

One exercise got me reminiscing about Grandpa and Grandma Beck’s during the Christmas and Easter seasons. Grandpa and Grandma had EIGHT kids. EIGHT!!!! Somehow that makes my five look small! LOL!

Every Christmas, as far back as I can remember, Grandpa baked a HUGE variety of cookies. I even asked my mom to help remember them: peanut butter kisses, pecan crescents, chocolate chip, oatmeal, regular peanut butter cookies, sugar cookies, and some sort of coconut cookie we can’t quite remember the name of! And those were just the ones Mom could recall!

Each of their eight kids received a cookie tin (or two!), plus there were always extras because we had to have some when the family ACTUALLY came over Christmas DAY!

Then for Easter, each kid got an Easter egg-shaped cake. Crosses, springtime pastel colors, grass and jelly beans around the bottom. The works. The thought and effort Grandpa put into making holidays special was such an inspiration. Though it may have driven Grandma slightly crazy! LOL!

Once Grandpa passed away, I let go of that joy—the joy I had from baking with him. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until Barrie’s book brought those memories rushing back. I want to get BACK to that. I want my kids involved and experiencing some of the traditions I loved. I just hope it’s not too late. ♥️

And wouldn’t you know it? As I was finishing this article and looking through old photographs, something occurred to me. The tradition of grandparents baking Christmas cookies with their grandchildren is alive and well in our family! ❤️ My boys have made those same sweet, sprinkle-covered memories with both of their grandmas. Maybe I haven’t brought back every one of Grandpa Beck’s recipes just yet, but the love behind that tradition has been here all along. 😉🍪

Forty, Unemployed, and Dreaming BIG

I just turned 40. FORTY. I’m still not entirely sure how that happened. LOL! I’ve also lost my job and am trying to grow this little corner of the internet into something that might eventually bring in money for my family. Will it? I don’t know. I hope so! And I’ll keep trying as long as I can.

Some chapters made me look backward. Others had me dreaming BIG. Like, travel Europe for two years with my family BIG. The libraries, museums, history, little towns, places connected to our ancestors—all of it. Will it ever happen?! Never. Say. Never. I have quite the one-track mind LOL! Who knows? Maybe that’s what I’ll be doing at 80. God-willing! ♥️

And Speaking of 80… Let’s Talk About Barrie!

Barrie wrote BOLD when she was 80. EIGHTY! I’m absolutely in AWE of her. Her strength, resilience and gumption are only small parts of who she is.

She’s taken up powerlifting, while I’m over here like, “OK, Addy, Colton, the two of you together weigh 70 pounds—I can’t carry you both at the same time anymore!!” 😅

She’s traveled to places I’ve only read about! She’s LIVED in places I’ve only read about! She’s built this incredible life, and she’s still picking up new things to do. She’s living it BOLDLY! I can only HOPE to be that amazing as I age.

The Parts That Made Me Uncomfortable

The book wasn’t all wonderful, uplifting moments. Some reflections were painful. Some made me go, “Oooooh, now I see how I do that.” And NOT in a good way! Some suggestions sounded lovely but aren’t necessarily realistic for my life right now. Five kids, a house, responsibilities, and a business I’m trying to build—sometimes change isn’t as simple as deciding to do something differently.

I’m my own best and worst critic. Barrie’s book helped me see the overall version of me—not just the parts I’m proud of, but the parts I struggle with, too. It wasn’t always comfortable, but it was necessary for me at this time in my life.

My Final Thoughts on BOLD

I read a LOT of books. Some make me laugh, some make me cry, and some teach me about people and places I’ve never known. Every once in a while, one makes me stop and really THINK about my own life. BOLD did that.

It brought back Grandpa’s cookies and Easter cakes. It made me examine difficult relationships, remember dreams, and look forward to the decades ahead. My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ — 5 out of 5 stars!

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re living your best, boldest life, this book might be a good step in the right direction. Have you read a book that really made you THINK and reflect? I’d love to hear about it! ♥️

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of BOLD from Ascot Media Group for editorial review consideration. All opinions are my own.

More from In My Mom Era

If you’re also thinking about what comes next, read 40 Years. And I’m Just Getting Started and Starting Over at 39.

Media acknowledgment

Thank you to Ascot Media Group for providing my complimentary review copy of BOLD.